Author: HEF Admin

  • Media-Smack in the middle of hysteria

     http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/smack-in-the-middle-of-hysteria/2008/01/23/1201024992191.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap2Smack in the middle of hysteria

    Miranda Devine
    January 24, 2008

    Illustration: Ed Aragon

    At the gym one day during the holidays a mother was struggling with a shrieking toddler. The child had worked himself into hysteria and the sounds of his distress gave new meaning to “piercing” for those of us caught in the maelstrom. In the shower at first I thought I was hearing a hurricane ripping off a steel roof. Apart from prompting a flash of admiration for such energy and stamina from so small a set of lungs, the sound was deeply disturbing.

    It continued for five or 10 minutes. All over the gym, from the pool to the women’s changing room, concerned gym-goers tiptoed towards the source of the sound to determine the cause of distress, retreating in embarrassment when they saw the mother, sitting passively in the face of such fury.

    She seemed calm, if hunkered down, not remonstrating with the child, in fact scarcely acknowledging his drama, just unemotionally absorbing the noise at close quarters. Perhaps she was deaf.

    On top of the incivility of subjecting others to the noise in a not particularly child-friendly establishment, her zen-like refusal to even try to dim the din was annoying.

    Everyone else was powerless to control the volume and was waiting for her to do her job, or at least to remove the child to a place where his noise would not be amplified by porcelain-tiled walls.

    What was her plan? Was she so exhausted by a difficult child that she could only cope by remaining silent? Or was she merely exercising a modern form of permissive parenting?

    It was obviously not what the child wanted – he needed a reaction to all his effort, though after a while he was beyond reason. It can’t have been what the mother wanted, and it sure wasn’t what anyone else in the gym wanted.

    People wanted to reach out and help the wretched woman and her poor child, but were at a loss.

    How do you tell a women her child needs a good smack?

    Remembering the bossy older women who used to exasperate my friends and me when our children were younger by offering unsolicited snarky advice about our tots’ perceived public misbehaviour, I hesitate before casting judgment on other mothers. We even started a joke support group, “Mothers Against Meanies” (MAM) to get the nosey-parkers to back off.

    But, seriously, what happened to discipline? Little in the history of parenting has ever proven as effective as a sharp rebuke or, dare I say it, a swift smack on the bottom that acts as an instant “reboot” of a naughty child.

    Some people will never agree with corporal punishment. But that doesn’t mean they can’t or shouldn’t control their kids; it’s just more complicated. For their own sake as much as for the children, not to mention the rest of society, they should at least try.

    In the ABC-TV program The Madness of Modern Families, on Tuesday night, a British father described meal-times in his child-led household: “There’s been times when we’ve cooked a healthy meal and plonked it down in front of the children and then seen them eat nothing and worry they’re going to wake up in the night, and think it’d be easier to cook them another meal now.”

    That’s not good parenting. It’s a recipe for monsters.

    This reluctance by well-meaning modern parents to enforce fair, firm, quickly administered discipline is creating havoc with the generation into which infamous Melbourne party planner Corey Delaney (aka Worthington) was born.

    The 16-year-old with the pierced nipple and trademark yellow sunglasses achieved international notoriety when he threw an out-of-control party while his parents were away, attracting 500 teenagers and the police riot squad.

    He doesn’t seem a bad kid, and was at least trying to sweep up the mess the next day when TV cameras descended. His refusal to be intimidated by A Current Affair’s school-marmish interviewer was commendable. It’s his ineffectual parents, Jo and Steve Delaney, who are the problem, with their posturing TV interviews, “open letter” to newspapers and utter inability to command their son’s respect.

    “He’s devastated,” Jo Delaney told one program while her son was on a rival channel boasting about “the best party ever”.

    Public opinion on the internet advocates a firmer approach. The website www.slapcorey.com, has an image of the spotty, barechested teen, and a hand you can click to administer the punishment. By yesterday afternoon almost 650,000 people had indulged.

    The Delaneys seem typical of a subset of laissez-faire baby-boomer parents who haven’t learned to say “No”.

    Data from a new NSW Government parent helpline shows a crisis in parental confidence, with 20 per cent of calls from parents tearing out their hair about how to discipline their unruly offspring. And a study last year from the Vanderbilt Medical Centre in Tennessee found a third of parents believe their discipline methods are “never” or only “sometimes effective”.

    Perhaps working parents try to outsource discipline and training of their children to nannies and other carers in the mistaken hope that family time will be calm. Perhaps step-parents are reluctant to mete out discipline, concerned the child will not recognise their authority.

    Meanwhile the anti-smacking lobby is flexing its muscles, with the Australian Childhood Foundation pushing for a national law, following New Zealand, to prevent parents using corporal punishment. The Federal Government last year even gave them $2.5 million to fund a campaign warning parents not to smack.

    The idea is that banning smacking in the home reduces violence in society. But common sense and the facts say the opposite, that lax parenting leads to more aggressive children.

    The Norwegian bullying expert and psychology professor Dan Olweus has shown that “overly permissive parenting” actually creates bullies. No one wants to go back to an era in which children were seen and not heard, or belted when they were bad. There is plenty to admire about today’s parents, who are involved and interested in their children’s lives, and treat them with respect.

    But there is a sensible middle ground, in which a firm “No”, even the odd smack, or raised voice, does not make you a bad parent. At the very least, if permissive parents want to give their misbehaving children free rein, could they please do it in the privacy of their own homes. Preferably with soundproofing.

  • Anti-smacking law likely to come under more heavy fire this year

    The Gisborne Herald

    http://www.gisborneherald.co.nz/Default.aspx?s=3&s1=2&id=2924913200c34d588eb1b03c5ba41246Thursday, 24 January 2008

    By Iain Gillies

       

    Politicians look like being confronted, challenged and possibly embarrassed by the prospect of a referendum on the anti-smacking law later this year, almost certainly held in tandem with the next election.


    Opponents of the controversial legislation initiated by Green MP Sue Bradford are now close to the 300,000 signatures necessary to force a citizen’s initiated referenda.

    Almost 5000 signatures were obtained last weekend, including 1000 at the World Cup of Motorsport event at Taupo, 720 at a “blues, brews and barbecues” event in Hastings and other tallies from A&P Shows.

    The current total of almost 268,000 represents a gain of 43,000 in the past two months, suggesting no diminution of public feeling on the issue.

    Principal organiser Larry Baldock told The Gisborne Herald: “We’ve got to keep it moving, but we’re pretty confident we’ll be able to see this through to a referendum.”

    Two petitions are being canvassed with a deadline of February 28 to obtain the signatures of at least 10 percent of registered electors and present them to the Clerk of the House of Representatives.

    The first — “Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand? — is in the name of Aucklander Sheryl Savill, a mother-of-two who works with Focus on the Family and whose husband is a policeman.

    The second, in Mr Baldock’s name, is “Should the Government give urgent priority to understanding and addressing the wider causes of family breakdown, family violence and child abuse in New Zealand?”

    As a former United Future MP Mr Baldock has been the public face of the campaign since the petitions began circulating a year ago, with strong support from volunteers, organised groups and churches.

    The terms for organising and conducting Citizen’s Initiated Referenda (CIR) are defined by legislation enacted by the Bolger administration in 1993, since when only two petitions have reached the point of forcing a plebiscite.

    Interesting stuff . . . but even a referendum result is not binding on the Government.

  • Section 59 and Foster Children

    Read the rest here at halfdone:

    http://halfdone.wordpress.com/2008/01/22/section-59-and-foster-children/

    Jim Mora on The Panel (note: audit link) yesterday spoke with with Mike Williams (Labour President) and Graham Bell (ex. cop). They spoke about the concerns of foster parents, raised earlier today in other media.It sheds some light on the issue, and makes a point that we have always made – that the new legal framework puts far more power in the hands of children than parents. This is then resulting in people choosing to avoid what was already an increasingly risky proposition – caring for troubled children.

    Interview transcribed below.

    Jim: … does this make sense to you panel?

    Mike Williams: It does make a lot of sense to me and it seems to be that it could… um, if this is a problem a) they don’t’ tell us any numbers, is this two people have dropped out of 8 people, or, you know, 200 out of 800 – what is it, we don’t know. [actually, they said at least 10, so Mike is playing with the truth here just a little – S1] But it seems to me that you do not need to smack children to bring them up, I’m sure Jim you do not smack your own beautiful children and these people need training and that’s what should be offered to them.

    Jim: I suppose so, … a lot of parents talk about this, we all hear people up and down the country discuss this and especially in the wake of the recent warning in Christchurch where that bloke was given a warning for ostensibly, ostensibly flicking his son on the head – isn’t that precisely the kind of trivial breach of the law that we were told would be more or less ignored?

    Graham Bell: That’s right, and I said when this thing came out that it was just totally pointless, ill conceived, and was going to create problems, and was not going to stop the ill-treatment or murder of one child – it’s not going to prevent anything. These things have continued, there’s been another couple in Auckland since the, ah, this year, the bill is ill-conceived, a waste of time and it’s having more bad effects than good ones.

    Jim: I take your point too mike and Allysa, and we’ll get her on in a minute and there’s a quote from her:

    “These kids are really hard. They just don’t care who they hurt, and you need really special people to take them on. If you have a kid that is yelling and screaming at you, what are you supposed to do?”

    Jim: So she’s talking about life at the coal face, and she joins, Allysa Carberry joins us now. Good Afternoon Allysa.

    Allysa Carberry: Hi

    Jim: So how bad is it, I mean, Mike Williams says how many people involved.. in your experience have left the whole area because of the new law?

    Allysa: [points out that she was interviewed on a different topic]

    Jim: nevertheless you do hold those beliefs do you?

    Allysa: Ah, it’s the fear of being charged should you need to restrain a child or place a child in care, in time out. That’s a real fear. But there’s also, you know, caregivers are also leaving because of the statements that Brian Perkins made, about being dissatisfied with Child Youth and Family. So it’s not just one issue of why they’re leaving. Yes section, the repeal of section 59 is there in the background, but it’s a whole number of topics of why they’re leaving.

    Jim: Hm, all right, so the headline “Anti-smacking worries push foster parents out” how accurate a reflection of your views and observations Allysa is that headline?

    Allysa: The anti-smacking, it’s got nothing to do with anti-smacking as it states caregivers have never been allowed to smack foster-children.

    Jim: [cautiously]Officially

    Allysa: Officially [hard to describe the tone here – high I guess. One gets the impression that Allysa knows it happens and needs to happen sometimes] Um, they’ve never been allowed to do that but there have been kids, children in care that have been needed to be restrained because they were going to hurt themselves or others, and that’s… a real… fear that’s a really good possibility of it happening………

    Read the rest here at halfdone:

    http://halfdone.wordpress.com/2008/01/22/section-59-and-foster-children/

  • FI-341-U4L, attention please

    23 January 2008 – Family Integrity #341 — U4L, attention please
    From: Craig Hill [mailto:craighill@maxnet.co.nz]
    Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2008 9:24 PM
    Subject: U4L, attention please

    Hi All,

    ATTENTION

    RGENT, URGENT, URGENT.

    By the end of the working week, we will achieved 270,000 signatures. This means the target of 300,000 sigs is not beyond reach. These signatures will be marched up the steps of Parliament on the 29th of February, “Our politicians will be kept honest”.

    TWO REQUESTS

    1) Keep up the work, as the deadline approaches we can not afford to become complacent. Now is the time for all to step up and be counted, our future generations depend on us making this happen.

    2) Send all petitions in as soon as possible, The count is based on received mail, please do not wait till the last week.

    I wish to take this moment to thank everyone for all their effort to date, well done.

    Our official count is 268,095 signatures, here is last week’s counts

    From Larry:

    Official count was 263,145
    Plus
    2050 from our trip to Taupo and Hastings
    300 Steve and Angela in Wairoa. (bad weather halved the crowd)
    1200 last week +500 this weekend from Craig
    500 Andy Christchurch
    400 Marion, Elspeth and team in Tauranga Friday Sat. (more than 1000 this week, and yes I am proud of them. The per capita winning city prize is looking within Tauranga’s sights now Andy J ! )

    This gives the grand total of 268,095. Now since this figure was released we have received notice from Renton, he collected 700 at the Golden Bay A&P Show, plus 239 from the South Auckland door knocking group, another 30 from a friend and 110 from the Papakura table today. These figures are not included in the grand total.

    NOW I’M GOING TO HEED MY OWN ADVICE AND POST OURS IN.

    Below are some interesting registrations for everyones encouragement:

    I am an expat from Epsom electorate working in Brunei. Can i sign the petition and e-mail it to you or must it be in hard copy? AB.

    Greetings, I read your Website, and agree totally with the erroneous arrogance of present day politicians. Briefly, I also work overseas, so am limited with my time commitment in assisting. Just to give me that warm fuzzy feeling, I have expedited a Petition List, and will forward this to you when I have as many names as possible, plus forwarding the same to other Friends. I have 25 signatures already the first 2 hours, and will with certainly have more to follow. Thank you for making the first Move. Regards DL.

    Thank You All,

    Craig Hill
    021 746 113
    http://www.unityforliberty.net.nz

    All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing
    (Edmund Burke 1728-1797)

  • 95bFM Audio: Kim Choe

    95bFM Audio: Kim Choe – S.59 Foster Care Fallout

     

  • 95bFM Audio: An article in the New Zealand Herald yesterday claimed that foster parents are quitting because of the repeal of Section 59 of the Crimes Act. Alyssa Carberry, Chairperson of the South Auckland Caregivers Association, has misgivings about these claims, even though she was quoted in the article herself.
  • Petition calling for a referendum on the “anti-smacking” law.

    signature counter

    ONLY 34905 MORE SIGNATURES NEEDED
    HAVE YOU SIGNED??

    Go to http://anti-matters.net/category/cir-petition/ or unityforliberty.net.nz  to print the form, sign it then send it.

  • Media-Parent smacking ban is ruled out

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7194015.stm
    Parent smacking ban is ruled out

    Wales will not have the power to ban parents from smacking their children, the assembly government has been told.

    The UK government said new law-making powers for the assembly government to protect vulnerable children would not extend to a complete smacking ban.

    It said this would impinge on the criminal justice system, which is not devolved to Wales.

    The assembly government said it still had the right to ban smacking in childrens’ homes or by carers.

    This comes within the boundaries of ‘social welfare’, which the assembly government has control over.

    The Labour-Plaid coalition had asked for the right to legislate – known as a Legislative Competence Order (LCO) – on vulnerable children.

    But Welsh Secretary State Peter Hain has written to First Minister Rhodri Morgan to tell him the assembly government will not be able to introduce a blanket smacking ban, based on legal advice from the attorney-general.

    Some children’s charities had supported the prospect, saying a ban would clarify a confusing issue for parents.

    Deputy Health Minister Gwenda Thomas also told a committee of AMs that she was in favour of Wales having its own law.

    But Family and Youth Concern, which researches the effects of family breakdown, said it was wrong to pass laws on how parents should bring up children.

    Under the 2004 Children’s Act, which came into force in January 2005, mild smacking is allowed but any punishment which causes visible bruising, grazes, scratches, minor swellings or cuts can result in legal action.

    The assembly government said: “We have only just received correspondence from the secretary of state on this issue, and will want to consider carefully all of the points raised.”

  • Media- Anti-smacking worries push foster parents out

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10487849
    Anti-smacking worries push foster parents out
    By Simon Collins

    A South Auckland foster care group says a quarter of its foster parents have quit because of the “anti-smacking” law passed last year.

    South Auckland Caregivers Association chairwoman Allysa Carberry said the repeal of section 59 of the Crimes Act, which allowed caregivers to use reasonable force to “correct” children, had made a chronic shortage worse.

    “A quarter of our members have left because of section 59. I could rattle off about 10 in South Auckland. I know of many, many caregivers who have been longstanding caregivers but won’t do caregiving any more. It’s too dangerous.

    “These kids are really hard. They just don’t care who they hurt, and you need really special people to take them on. If you have a kid that is yelling and screaming at you, what are you supposed to do?”

    Child, Youth and Family Services has faced mounting problems finding foster parents in recent years, as the number of children in care has grown by 18 per cent in the past five years to 5049, while the number of single-income families with one parent available at home for caregiving has shrunk.

    However, other foster care groups said the smacking law was not a factor for their members.

    Both Carolyn Hill, who chairs the national Family and Foster Care Federation, and Foster Care Auckland chairman Byron Perkins said they had not heard of any caregiver leaving because of the law change.

    “People are leaving because they are dissatisfied with CYFS,” Mr Perkins said. “It comes down to the whole area of professionalism and payments because both couples have to go to work to earn the money to pay the mortgage.”

    A CYFS survey published in November found that 71 per cent of its mainly-female primary caregivers now work outside the home – 20 per cent fulltime and 51 per cent part-time. Although 80 per cent of its mainly-male secondary caregivers have paid work, most are low-paid. Only 46 per cent earn more than $35,000 a year.

    Three-quarters said the foster care allowance of $124 to $174 a week per child depending on the child’s age did not cover all their costs such as transporting the children to school and other activities.

    Grandparents Raising Grandchildren convener Di Vivian said many grandparents were “frightened” by the new law, but she did not know of any who had given up caring for their grandchildren because of it.

    A CYFS spokeswoman said the repeal of section 59 made no difference to the service’s long-standing policy against any “physical discipline”.

    also look at:

    http://www.kiwiblog.co.nz/2008/01/a_quarter_of_south_auckland_foster_parents_quit.html

    and

    http://newzeal.blogspot.com/2008/01/anti-smacking-law-damaging-foster-care.html 

  • Christchurch this weekend

    Hi team,

    Re: Petition for referendum on the Anti-Smacking law.

    If you are free to help out with collecting signatures tomorrow, please let me know – by email, or phone: 03 357 4599 (or) 021 1140 751.
    We’ll be meeting at the corner of Cashel St. and Colombo St. – and if there are enough people, will run 2 tables.

    We really need volunteers at this time, as we’re getting close to the deadline and it’s touch and go as to whether we can make it or not.

    Kind Regards,
    Andy Moore
    http://www.equipbiz.co.nz
    phone: 021 1140 751

  • FI-340-U4L, upcoming events W/E 19 Jan 08

    18 January 2008 Family Integrity #340 — U4L, upcoming events W/E 19 Jan 08

    From: Craig Hill [mailto:craighill@maxnet.co.nz]
    Sent: Friday, January 18, 2008 8:15 AM
    Subject: U4L, upcoming events

    Hi All,

    Big weekends coming up, Larry Baldock is covering several events this weekend. If anyone can help with the race meeting in Taupo this weekend, please contact Larry on
    021864833
    There is also a Blues, Brews and BQQs in Hastings starting at 2.00pm on Saturday, if you are free also contact Larry on 021864833
    And to all people who may be available to help at Parachute again contact Larry on his mobile

    We also have new contacts, if you can help in the Hamilton area please contact Steve at hamilton@unityforliberty.net.nz He has tables this week that he would like help with

    There is also West Coast westcoast@unityforliberty.net.nz again they are also looking for help.

    Catlins is gearing up, contact Natalie at catlins@unityforliberty.net.nz

    • Gore Monday 21st January, Tuesday 29th Door knocking again in the area we will go in teams of two..

    • Taieri Show Saturday 26th January manning tables, gathering signatures in the crowd. Great team at this Show, come along and enjoy the people while getting those final signatures .

    • Waimumu Field Days Gore 13th, 14th, 15th February manning tables, gathering signatures, pouring the coffee!!! Great event come and help and enjoy this amazing Southland Event.

    Don’t forget the doorknocking in Manurewa on Monday night. Last week we collected 450 signatures in two hours. Many hands make light work.
    Meeting between 6-6.15pm at Covenant Church, 77 Rodgers Road, Manurewa. contact gaylene@unityforliberty.net.nz or 021 075 7211

    All other areas would like to hear from anyone who can assist this coming Sat.

    Looking forward to hearing from you,
    Craig Hill
    021 746 113
    http;//www.unityforliberty.net.nz

    All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing (Edmund Burke 1728-1797)